Thank you for dragging the step stool over to the kitchen counter to help me. Every single time I try to do anything. You’re right that I was foolish to think I could do something without you. You’re right that your job is to learn, especially from me. You’re right that I need to find better horizontal surfaces to cover with all the stuff I don’t want you touching. Thank you for that reminder.. 

Thank you for demanding your independence. You’re right that I don’t have to open that cheese or tie your shoes or zip your jacket or cut the bread by myself. Of course you need to learn by trying. I know it makes you happy to try and you’re willingly to let me finish if your sweet little hands can’t complete the task. Thank you for reminding me what the whole 22month to 4 year process is about. You. Not me.

Thank you for refusing to snuggle....You’re right that angry feels like hitting. We don’t hit, Nugget! Good thing I know that :) Thank you for the reminder that I need to take a break when someone makes me so mad I see black. Good job, Nugget....You’re the best.

Thank you for delighting in playing with simple things. You’re right that we should pour water back and forth from cup to pot for a long, long time. You’re right that it’s fun to open and close doors dozens of times. Thank you for finally slowing down for two seconds to do these things, Nugget. You’ve been whirling around for so long without stopping that I wasn’t sure I’d blink before you turned Two. Thanks for your new love of repetition (and for setting up my ability to share that love by running me ragged for a year.) Let’s go get the pots and the water, shall we?

Thank you for pointing out that, whatever I give you leaves one of your hands empty. You’re right. You have two hands. So of course you need two chips. Yes. Two bananas. Two sticks. Two halves of the sandwich. Thank you for noticing both halves of your body, Butterbug. Thank you for making me see all functional units in pairs.

Kind of like us, right?

Love you, sweet little man.
—Mama.

Of course not :)

Why can’t all of the problems and questions we face be answered with yes or no?  Ok so most of the time it is much more complicated that :(

If only matters of the heart over head or head over heart situation could be answered with a yes or a no, life would be so much simpler. I guess it doesn’t help when I am not totally sure how I feel, how I am supposed to feel or even what I need to feel....

Who really knows? In all honesty I have no idea anymore. It’s not as simple as it was at the beginning, but what ever stays totally simple? 

Getting a dog???

So...You may consider getting a dog..........Remember it is FOREVER.........

Not just UNTIL he potties inside. 
Not just UNTIL he chews up your shoes. 
Not just UNTIL YOU get new carpet
Not just UNTIL she gets too big
Not just UNTIL you decide to have a baby
PETS ARE A LIFETIME COMMITMENT....AND worth SO much more than the effort you will put into them :)  

Happy Easter Scout

There is no "right" way. I know you know this, I see it on a daily basis. You push the limits, you ask for more than anyone can give, you dream so much bigger than anyone can imagine.  I remember that feeling.
What I want to tell you is that there is NO right way to feel or grow :)
In the meantime, know that you are a talented, brilliant human being, regardless of what anyone else thinks or what everyone else is doing. It can be a tough road when you're "getting bigger" but it is your road. Make the most of it.

I LOVE YOU, 
Mommy

Be Kind

I do not have the energy to wish you would die or hurt.

I will not use my time or breath to insult you. I am too busy teaching her to trust again and love.  We are ALL not terrible or mean. 

I do not want you to experience what you did to an animal. I am too busy trying to heal the emotional wounds of an abused or neglected animal.... Showing me those awful experiences won't happen ever again...

I will not give my energy to contribute to conversations that only speak of unethical ways of punishing you. My energy goes to solving the problem of abuse through education, awareness, kindness.

I will not keep you from being a good parent or seeing our child.  I WILL use my voice instead for the children in humane education courses and helping teachers learn how to help kids speak in safe environments about the animal abuse in their homes before the animal abuse turns to child abuse.

What I do want for you is for you to experience the process of acceptance, to acknowledge your actions, be accountable for your choices, and seek whatever help you need to deal anger.

I want for you to serve your time willingly, not make excuses, and recognize the redemption found in helping others in need.

I want you to heal whatever it is inside you that let you think it was acceptable to do what you did.

I want you to heal enough that you are able to give back the love she has given to Us and appreciate and accept that animals are far more amazing than we are.  Forgiveness is underrated and KINDNESS is everything.

Basically I want you to LOVE without conditions,

Laramie

Life, please slow down....

Life has been moving so quickly lately. A couple of days ago I drove by SMU. Classes were finishing for the day, and the sidewalks were busy with mostly fresh-faced students. It was in the middle of the campus that I had 'a moment.'

In the blink of an eye, it seemed, I was 32 What happened to my 20s and my teens? The college days? Where did they go?!

I'm not lamenting a lost decade, nothing like that. I have truly enjoyed almost every single moment in time. Lots of great memories. I don't wish to go back to them. I really like the 32 year old me me. A little more life experience under my belt. I'm more comfortable in my skin, and I'm having a ball! Seriously I am doing things I never imagined or ever thought I'd even want to do. I have met amazing new people and have made another set of friends I will have for a lifetime. But, every once in awhile they happen, the moments that make real the quick passing of time. Things that seem to have happened just yesterday, as I am recounting a story, actually happened more than a decade ago. I find myself saying, more and more, "That seems impossible."

I can remember, in my 20s, older people telling me/us to enjoy the time, for all it was worth, because it goes by so quickly. We shrugged it off. We had all the time in the world. Now, I see, I feel what they meant. I know it, from my own experience, to be true. The days, they pass by so fast. I only know that I want to be able to look back, another decade from now, and be able to say that, all in all, it was time well spent and I loved every moment of it! Just my thoughts! Live it up......Life passes so quickly~Do what makes you happy and enjoy everything..............Good and bad! 

I had a ridiculously productive day foday. it was nice…odd, but nice. Cleaning the house, loving the MOST AMAZING LITTLE BOY EVER, loving the dogs, AND LASTLY, cleaning up my cluttered desk in the media room...
Whatever. a place of order encourages ordered thinking!

I will cease and desist.

But i thought maybe i'd update you on what i've done because i would rather do anything but run, which is what i should be doing but instead i'm here.


i listened to the John Mayer station on pandora radio. do you know about pandora radio? i. it's awesome. you should go there. it's completely free and easy to use, I am a few years late but LOVE IT.....

And in the midst of this i decided that the soundtrack to my summer is going to be populated by boys who play guitar - PHILLIP PHILLIPS,  Greg Allman,  James Taylor,  john mayer, michael franti, with appearances by Bob Seager (how did i not know that i am in love with him?) and maybe some Dixie Chicks, just because girls are pretty great too.