Monday, March 15, 2010

Randy in India

Warning: In the interests of remaining as non-controversial as possible, I need to advise you dear readers that some of you may be offended by this post. If you do find this post offensive then you probably don't really understand what I'm trying to say. I am nothing if not tolerant and open-minded. Just think really hard before you allow yourself to be taken over by political correctness.

I have a problem with customer service jobs being shipped over to India. There. I said it. This has nothing to do with jobs being taken away from "hard-working red-blooded Americans" or anything like that so put your flags back in your pocket. This has everything to do with the nuances of cultural differences that makes this world wonderful but can be very frustrating in the realm of customer service.

I have dealt with my share of customer service reps from all over the world and I have never had a major problem with speaking to reps in India (except for the fact that most Large Companies make their Indian employees change their names to some ridiculous "American-sounding" name like Brad Johnson or Sandy Smith--I doubt this is fooling Grandma and Grandpa Jones in Cheyenne and it ends up making me feel more uncomfortable because I feel guilty that this person has to compromise their identity to work at an AMEX call center. I had the pleasure over the past few days of contacting AMEX in an attempt to change a few things . I have called 4 times. I have spoken to "Carla Lewis," "Brad Johnson," "Sandy Smith" and this morning I had a pleasant conversation with "Randy Lee." All in India. Conversations always begin the same. I give them my card number and verify security info. Easy enough. Problem is, I get different answers to my questions every time I call. And I think that each of these individual's is faking their way through the call. One time I was put on hold for 20 minutes for no apparent reason. Another time I was told to call back because "Brad's" computer wasn't working.

So I talk to "Randy" this morning and he has no idea about my account....

How will they inform me? Will they call, email, send smoke signals, send a carrier pigeon, Pony Express?

"Randy" doesn't know.

When will I find out?

"Randy" doesn't know.

"Randy" doesn't understand.

"Randy" calmly tells me that I will get something in the mail. This is where the cultural differences come in. And I'm blaming this on cultural differences because I don't want to admit that I'm insane. Apparently "Randy" does not care. Because "Randy" is all dharma and everything and I am all born in California and raised by my mother, Queen of Anxiety (which makes me the Princess of Worry-in case you were wondering) the conversation goes downhill.

"Randy" does not know how to reassure me because he does not understand why I am so upset. He hasn't taken the training class entitled "Dealing With the Overwhelmed Neurotic PMSing Customer." I told him the whole situation was ridiculous and that he was ridiculous and AMEX was the most ridiculous of all. And when I hung up the phone, I felt bad.

Right now I hope that "Randy" goes on his lunch break and turns back into Samir and sits down with Rahul, Amita, and Rishi and they had a good laugh at my expense. Because they deserve it.

My suggestions: Companies such as AMEX should spend less time making sure that their Indian employees have Anglo names and more time explaining the meaning of customer service. Customer Service means they will have to deal with crazy women who need to have everything planned in advance and who need constant reassurance and specific instructions and hate living in a limbo world .