Tuesday, July 20, 2010

We've done it! We've all survived our first year together. :D

Today is my son's first birthday and it's been quite a year. This may sound like a cliche, but it really is amazing how much a little person develops over the course of a year. When i look back at his birth photos I can hardly believe that it's the same kid here have now. He hasn't been out of my sight so I am pretty sure he is mine! I never imagined loving someone more than my dog Alot, but I do. Alto will forever be in my heart but Scout has formed this amazing new "area" in me...

Lessons I have learned from Scout

Playing is work. Approach your downtime with all the seriousness us girls use when selecting the perfect show!~ Those little people make us mad when they wont fly that plane :)

Seeing a thunderstorm roll in is better than watching Wonder Pets. And rain isn't something to cry about but enjoy!

Sometimes it's best to be completely blunt with people, as you used to be with relatives who wanted you to hug or kiss them even thought they had forgot to visit you for the past 6 months!

Treasure Island, Dracula: The best books are consumed after dark with a flashlight. thanks DADA, he decided this was important

Asking is how you figure things out. Lots and lots of questions.
Love. Love everyone and everything like you love Molly and Momma :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Growing up I had a mental file going where I would regularly store away pieces of information for later in life when I would surely need it.
I titled this file
“Ways I won’t be like my mother”
And when I was ten I filed things away like
“I will never make my kids make their bed”
“if my kid wants to have her whole class over for a sleepover, I will let him. And I’ll even order pizza”
And when I was in junior high I added to it
“I will buy my kid expensive name brand clothes because if she is popular they will be happy”
“13 is not too young for a boyfriend”

And in highschool
“If she wants to pierce her naval why should I stand in the way of personal expression”
“It is way too embarrassing to call my childs friends and ask if their parents will be home. I will just trust her/him.”
And in college
“Cs aren’t so bad. At least it is passing.”
“Padre is the perfect location for Spring Break”
And then I got married.
And I still filed away a few thoughts.
“like he can get his own damn beer”
“my husband better not talk to me like that and hopefully he can get his clothes to a washing machine”
But a few good ones slipped in too!
my mom has an amazing heart and my dad is an amazing listener and advice "giver."
And so occasionally I would call and ask them something simple like
What my mom puts in her potato salad.
What my dad thinks about the latest political uproar.
and a new mental file started to form.
“Things my parent knows that I don’t”
And I had to start cleaning out the old file a bit…because maybe a 13 year old doesn’t need $150.00 jeans or to be trusted completely.
And then I became a mother.
And I realized that I had an awful lot to learn.
And how glad I am that I have 2 very special someones to ask
when I want to know how to handle a situation without overreacting
or when I need someone to listen to me go on and on about what Scout did today.
or how to get my cholesterol down
or how to disagree without hurting someone who has a different opinion.
Basically how to handle the BIG stuff.

Let’s just say that the second file has grown a lot fatter than the first.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Friends fighting?

Recently I had a friend disappoint me.
I didn’t tell them.
And I didn’t write about it when it happened.
Instead I seethed a little and got angrier and slightly resentful and finally dumped it on my husband.
(who had some great advice that will come later)
And. I have hesitated to write this piece because a lot of my real life friends read this.
Maybe even the one I’m writing about. Maybe not. Actually I’m not really sure.
And to be honest the best pace to work this out would be with them.
Just them.
And not on line.
It’s not really about them. It’s more about me. And I don’t think there is so much to work out anyways.
So, if you are my real life friend and are reading this and wondering, hesitantly or fearfully if this is about you.
It might be.
But it probably isn’t.
And again. Even if it is. It’s not REALLY about you.
And if it isn’t. It could be. If we have been friends for more than five minutes, we have probably had a moment like this.
So, back to me venting to my husband.
I forced him to listen to my girl woes and what I thought were very valid complaints.
To which he said,
“So. Why are you mad? That is what I'd expect. Some of it is what I would do. Why are you expecting something else.”
And I got a little frustrated because really I was just hoping he would agree. Be on my team and tell me how right I was rather than speaking some truth.
And he was right.
And I had a hard time swallowing it.
And sure, I have friends that I love even though they are always late or have a short temper or are high strung, or are more conservative, or are more liberal or occasionally flighty. And it doesn’t bother me. It is just part of who they are and who I love.
And they manage to love me despite of
My insensitive. my constant interruptions. my obnoxious. my rantings. my strong opinions. my lack of strong opinions. my habit of eating off their plate, my loose lips…..and probably a hundred other more things. Really, I totally get the good end of the deal.

And I’m sure I’ve hurt feelings or said dumb things or dominated conversations that I shouldn’t have. And occasionally I have even apologized for it.
But mostly I haven’t. And they are my friend anyways.
And so my friend didn’t really disappoint me.
Or hurt my feelings.
Instead. Some girl I made up did.
My friend was still there. Doing all the things that I love about her.
And I decided that maybe my expectations. The false ones I made up.
Should go