Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Text for Text

Dating, Such a simple word.  So many complications.  To call or not to call?  Email?   Text once, text twice?  Resend?   To Facebook or Tweet? Hell, now we are texting with out ever talking.  The last time I dated I had a flip phone  that I could barely get to make an out going call, much less send a cryptic message with various underlying tones which often require a friends analysis (Thanks NGGF).  What has happened to the Friday night out with the cute boy you met at  your local Sonic?  As we all know, I lost a love and I left a love.   Now from time to time I want a love.    It was by fate that we met.  I was discussing the outrageous doctor who we believe killed my best friends husband.   On the other side of the 8x12 room we were chatting in,  a shelf crashed off the wall.  I was no where near said shelf.  This must have been some type of "sign" right?    I marched over to the "big cheeses area" and the "fixer" was NOT available.   As a spoiled rotten brat who expects life to happen on HER terms this was tough.   I marched into Nameless Texans  office and described my situation.  He told me "Fred" would handle it.  Why couldn't he just do it?  I would much rather watch him drill something into the wall (did I mention he was cute and chewed tobacco?)   A week passes and I return to a shelf still sitting on the floor.  Devastated that my "Nameless Texan" had not handled business I marched over to address the situation, AGAIN.    A very sweet lady at the front desk offered assistance but I was determined to talk to NT.  Today he was even more attractive than before and I knew something had to happen.  He placed some blame on "Fred" and requested my name and phone number  so he could confirm  the job was complete.  Within Twenty minutes NT  had committed to fixing the shelf himself and accepted full responsibility for failure to ask Fred to fix it, well played NT.   Immediately he became the cutest boy I had talked to in weeks.   Our shelf conversation had turned into a date.   Something I have been reluctant to try since the divorce. Last month before my friends husband passed away he made me promise I would try it in 2015.  "Not all guys are jerks, just most of them.  They can't all be like me"   I hadn't been on a "proper" date with anyone other than my ex-husband in 8 years.  With the cute Texan twang, ability to fix the shelves, and the fact that he chewed tobacco, I immediately committed to Saturday and my "real date."  Thanks Mike!      Prior to our date I was sick to my stomach.  Why?  I  go out with random boys in groups (friends of friends, sans chemistry) all the time.  This boy was different.  He was Tall, Texan, and had the twang that every girl longs for, did I mention he liked baseball?     He picked me up right on time, and despite the butterflies, I felt comfortable immediately.  He was everything a girl could want ( he was pretty lucky too, if I do say so myself.)   The date was awesome, I shared (food), he wasn't being cheap, we just went somewhere designed to share, which I am not very good at.   Afterwards we went to a comedy club.  It was complete trash, and I loved every minute of it.   He was totally hitting on me (I think), his hand was on my leg, and we may have held hands for a brief moment.   AFTER the date we head home.  Despite the fact that I was dying to smooch NT, I kept it classy and said goodnight.   I was completely confident  that this would be happening again soon.   Sunday comes and text messages are shared.  Obviously he is smitten, I am one in a million, right?  Do we see ourselves as something we aren't, or maybe never will be?  Is being overly confident in the fact that you know who you are and what you want a bad thing?  Or does it become a bad thing when you expect others to see it and know it too?  NT texted me a few more times with some  "small talk"  something he had been doing since the day of the shelf.   I liked this, I am not in need of this or "needy" in general, but 
when we get used to something and it just stops some of us panic.  Some people play it cool. I have a girlfriend who is my polar opposite.  I sometimes stress for her.  I wish I was more like her in that aspect.   I am not and never have been that girl.  I need to know.  Maybe thats my problem, and not just in relationships?  The next week progresses and the text messages are sparse.  Instead of chilling out, I continue on my quest for nuttiness by sending more text messages and imagining the worst.   In hindsight, this was a terrible idea,  NT was probably busy with his life, just like I was, but why was I still making time to make a mess?   I convinced myself he probably wasn't getting my messages, so I sent a few more.   I say few loosely.    I have concluded that its not terrible to tell someone how you feel, or even text someone to tell them you are thinking of them.   But just like the Three date rule, there should be a TEXT for TEXT rule.   Lesson Learned.  Mission Accomplished. Back in the game (okay, not really but I did go on a date.) 

Wednesday, February 4, 2015


 Seems like everyone has issues: your past pops up, you compare, you play games,  you lose a turn, you break a heart, get your heart broken, Whatever....I call this baggage!  My friends talk about finding someone with no baggage but is that really possible?
I've never understood this. I don't believe that anyone makes it through this life without baggage. It's part of living. We all have past hurts that we carry with us in one way or another. I'm immediately suspicious of people who claim to have none. I'm guessing that they're unaware that the big suitcase that the other people in their lives are taking turns lugging, is theirs, and that they have not claimed their baggage .Our current state of being, in my opinion, depends on acknowledging the hurts, exploring their impact, coming to terms with and integrated them. When this is done, we can choose to do differently. What is left unacknowledged is left unchanged. Maintaining the status quo, sticking with familiar people and places is comfortable. Making change asks us to step outside of our comfort zone. It takes courage and spunk!

C'mon...we ALL have baggage, but, those questions the airlines ask at check-in...they're important...Did you pack your bag yourself?
Are you aware of the contents?Have you left it unattended?Do you have any unclaimed baggage? Is your load feeling heavy these days?
Do you sort through your baggage from time to time, discard what is no longer useful to you? Re-organize and re-pack? Are you willing to pay the extra $25.00 because your bag is overweight?

My suitcase has wheels and I go thru it often and repack and reorganize!
My backpack...I don't notice the weight of it ,most of the time, but sometimes I need to put it down for awhile, and reconsider the contents.