I titled this file
“Ways I won’t be like my mother”
And when I was ten I filed things away like
“I will never make my kids make their bed”
and
“if my kid wants to have her whole class over for a sleepover, I will let him. And I’ll even order pizza”
And when I was in junior high I added to it
“I will buy my kid expensive name brand clothes because if she is popular they will be happy”
and
“13 is not too young for a boyfriend”
And in highschool
“If she wants to pierce her naval why should I stand in the way of personal expression”
and
“It is way too embarrassing to call my childs friends and ask if their parents will be home. I will just trust her/him.”
And in college
“Cs aren’t so bad. At least it is passing.”
and
“Padre is the perfect location for Spring Break”
And then I got married.
And I still filed away a few thoughts.
“like he can get his own damn beer”
and
“my husband better not talk to me like that and hopefully he can get his clothes to a washing machine”
But a few good ones slipped in too!
my mom has an amazing heart and my dad is an amazing listener and advice "giver."
And so occasionally I would call and ask them something simple like
What my mom puts in her potato salad.
What my dad thinks about the latest political uproar.
and a new mental file started to form.
“Things my parent knows that I don’t”
And I had to start cleaning out the old file a bit…because maybe a 13 year old doesn’t need $150.00 jeans or to be trusted completely.
And then I became a mother.
And I realized that I had an awful lot to learn.
And how glad I am that I have 2 very special someones to ask
when I want to know how to handle a situation without overreacting
or when I need someone to listen to me go on and on about what Scout did today.
or how to get my cholesterol down
or how to disagree without hurting someone who has a different opinion.
Basically how to handle the BIG stuff.
Let’s just say that the second file has grown a lot fatter than the first.
Let’s just say that the second file has grown a lot fatter than the first.
