I’m no stranger to heartbreak. Like clothing at a vintage store, each one of mine is as unique as the relationship that preceded it. And regardless of the reasons or who did what, it always sucks. I will venture to say, though, that being the one who is on the receiving end has it worse than the deliveryman! So I’ve drawn on my extensive “getting dumped” experience and written an open letter to any of my sweet friends going thru something....“You tried! You loved him the best you could. You threw yourself in. You tried to show him how to love you, and it still did NOT work. It’s not your fault, you did everything YOU knew to do! Yes, this hurts. Because you gave so much more of yourself than you ever normally would have, more than you even knew you had in you. Because you compromised your own pride for him, Because you made him a priority, and in return all you were told that you did NOT do enough.
You have to remember that compromise has to come from both sides of an equation, and you just can’t keep giving to someone who isn’t willing to give back. If you keep trying to do that, you’re just going to keep hurting. You tried to lower and lower the level of sacrifice, until he finally told you he couldn’t sacrifice anything at all. Yes, he was worth it to you, but you weren’t to him. So now you have to love yourself more than him. Now you have try to replace who you thought was irreplaceable, because you’ve been told that you are replaceable. You should not be made to feel interchangeable with whoever is convenient.
You have to remember that love doesn’t deal in “ifs” and “whens,” but in “always” and “no matter the circumstances.” “Can’t” is not in the vocabulary of love, only “how.” He couldn’t be bothered to figure that out with you, so you only got “can’t.” You deserve better than a man like that. You deserve someone who will think of ways to get the two of you around the obstacles that enter your path. Someone who thinks in “us” and “we,” not “I” and “me.” So keep fighting through the bad days, revel in the good ones, and remember that you’re worth it to someone. When you find him all this pain will make sense. You loved the wrong person so well, so just imagine how amazing you will be at loving the right person. Imagine what it will feel like to have all this trying actually be reciprocated. Trust that you will only go up from here, and push yourself to get there as soon as you can. You gave it everything, and as long as you keep that up, you’re going to be just fine.”
