The Here and Now

i'm thankful for the freedom to be content exactly where i am. i'm not bound to the wants, the what-ifs and the wouldn't-that-be-nice's. that even if they come to mind (or heart) i have the power to realize that, while maybe those things may come to me at some

point, i am standing right in the middle of Gods will for me.

i may feel ready for Roger to be back working in Dallas with us, but i'm thankful for

his job out of town that has provided for us while some pray for any sort of job.

i may want to live down the street from my mom or dad (somedays), be in a 3rd world country passing out the only meal a child may get that week, or rescuing every animal abused or neglected but i have to trust that now is not the time.

i may want a bigger house with more rooms and an amazing playroom, but i need to

remember that it is the feelings in a house that make someone welcome, not the size.

i may long for (a little) more time to myself at the end of the night, but i need to be mindful of
how quickly Scout will grow up.

i'm learning more every day to fully embrace exactly where i am.

even the obstacles can be fun sometimes.

What does iIT mean?

IT means that as much as i want to buckle him in the highchair sometimes

and hurriedly get some things done,

the nug often roams and explores the kitchen beneath me.

SS will pull every towel & bib that we own out of the drawer.

IT always means that i have a lot of damage control to do at nap time and late at night.

i hope IT also means that i have a child who knows how valued he is right now.

that he knows that learning, exploring and being is his "job" right now.

that HE knows that none of the stuff is more important than

guiding & loving his little heart i could look at today and say that we just made soup,

but i think we did much more.

Lazy Saturday morning, kinda

we've had a lazy, happy saturday .

i keep meaning to be folding the 2 loads of clean laundry sitting here,

but get distracted by breaks to watch Stout Scout build the same block tower over and over or

clean up everysinglething this has dragged out from the numerous toy boxes.

then, i download photos and briefly chat with my online friends about how we never got up this early in our former

lives. of course, i need another coffee by now.

i go back to fold laundry, but now SS is ready for a nap.

fresh diaper, lotion, a little rock and off to bed.

that means Kombucha and quiet time for me

i finally get to clean up the smashed blueberries from this morning

and pick up the random wonder pet, microphone & baseball bat laying around.

i feel the need to sit now & go back to photos as a break, but

i haven't done what i set out to do at all.

i'm okay with that. that is totally my life & that's what we do as moms, isn't it?

take it as it comes and deal with it.

it's not always as planned, but it's happy.

[i am considering taking that word 'lazy' out of the first sentence though.]

Pretty sad, I must say.

I need six hours. In those six hours I would...

Get waxed.
Finishing editing my case notes for my my SOD gig.
Send off Scout's school paperwork.
Make sure that I sent off MDO tuition
Organize my calendar
Get caught up on blogs.
Write a real blog that is not a list.
Clean out my email.
Clean out my blog email.
Figure out what Twitter is all about.
Figure out a business proposal w/ Stella and Dor
Floss well.
Read the five unread magazines by my bed.
Call my long lost friends.
Research what do with the remaining veggies on my counter-top.
What kind of world do I live in that the most relaxing event of my life is a pretend 6 hours?

Am I really in my third decade?

This is one of those weeks that it takes everything I have to be very intentional about my day, making sure I balance the work with the play. Errands. Broken dishwasher. Man, did i underestimate the time a dishwasher saves me.

A husband gone for work 24/7 5 days a week so that I can stay home with Scout. Time with friends. Time to sit on the floor and put puzzles together.

Honestly, it is weeks like this that i want to bury my face in my pillow and sleep all day!

I want everything done, but i can't believe that it is ME that is supposed to do it.

I am a procrastinator by nature. I think i'm probably sloppy by nature.

and a lot of times, i'd love someone else to do the hard work for me. Then I remember i'm grown up. When did this happen?

Although I still love some appreciation, I'm doing it. I am being a grown up.

Sometimes I let Scout have blueberries and peanut butter for breakfast, lunch,

and dinner. He loves to around the dressing room angering others,

carry plastic bottles of water, spilling as he goes (it does not stain.)

At the end of the night I put the little guy to bed, enjoy a glass of wine and Nancy Grace and I am proud & excited about my life and my job as Scouts Mom and Rogers wife. I kinda like this grown up gig!

Scout and I have our comfy clothes on tonight. i don't get many things done in a day. Yesterday, we did grocery shopping. i kid you not that it took close to 2hours from leaving the house to all groceries put away.But, I try my very hardest to involve Scout. Yesterday that meant that an orange rolls across the whole produce section as it misses being THROWN into the bag. and it means that I laugh and tell Scout, "try again. gentle this time."even despite the dirty looks from the man that almost tripped over the orange.The lady that smiled at Scout and winked at me trumped him anyway.

Bye Bye Baby

Everyday this rambunctious little boy who is full of

throwing blocks, giggling & dancing like a wild chicken slowly waddles up to me. He tugs on my shirt and we sit on the floor. I marvel at the fact that he loves me, trusts me, enough to just be. Today I felt like Scout woke up from his nap a true toddler . Reading a book waiting for me to come in. Sure he has been toddling around for months, but

I think it was that he was so intent on his book that when he looked up that sealed the deal. There goes Baby Scout.

Full Blown Toddler : ( h in you.

The trusting casual way a tiny hand, slipped into a larger one -cracked and worn – cam even the iciest of hearts.

Children are our miracles we are blessed with every day.There’s something about the love of a child. Something in the way that eyes light up, when Daddy enters a room. In soft peaceful breath on Mummy’s breast when drifting off to dreamland. Words unspoken that whisper their faith in you.

The trusting casual way a tiny hand, slipped into a larger one -cracked and worn – can melt away the years of worry and warm even the iciest of hearts.

Children are our miracles we are blessed with every