Death... as a blog topic... is hard to write about. But as I recall losing my Grandma Campbell in April and really regretting not being there when my Granny Lena passed in 2003 I get upset and pretty emotional...

The short story? My grandmother just turned 87 Jan of 2010 and had always been strong. But a few years back... she had a stroke. It was just a year after that she broker her shoulder and we knew then, it was only a matter of time. I hated to watch it happen. Selfishly I would say it was exhausting. Yet I felt so much... and learned so much. My Mom and I get to think about the old times... and reminisce.
I wish I had the strength to be there for those at their end.
Did you know hearing is the last sense to go? I remember laying on my Grandmother Campells bed, stroking her face with my sons lovey. I knew we were close to goodbye but knew she was nervous about meeting the Lord and all that happens in the afterlife so I did my best to comfort her and just share my love. It was a struggle. Letting go is hard.
Then... the body has to have closure in two different ways. The first, is physical. I think she was already past that. The signs I had been taught were there... and it's strangely amazing to watch what happened to the human life form.
The second is emotional. This is where I think my Grandmother was not finished. Books say many times even if the body is ready let go, the mind and heart are not. We then hang on to work out emotions in our head. My Mom unselfishly agreed that the idea of her trying to get there after she was ready to go was actually preventing her from letting go.
Reality was setting in, We just wanted her to know we love her. We wanted her to know that we were happy, healthy, and will keep her alive in memory and toast to her life ALWAYS . My family on both sides has always chosen a celebration of life... and we will do so with her as well.

Now after literally staring death in the face... scary... eerie... amazing.... and real. It made me think about things I have done... and what would happen if I went tomorrow. It makes me want to continue to be more aware of my surroundings... share time with close ones... and live life to the fullest. But that is hard sometimes. So many things in life, the big things, can be a struggle and no one is constantly happy. I guess it's more so letting these things roll off our backs instead of dwelling. And that's my challenge.

As hard as all this is... I'm glad I have come to see the full circle. I learned a lot. And although my Gradmother will be forever with our Lord I got to say goodbye.
I guess my moral of the story is... let things out and don't hold them in, express your love, treat others well, pick your battles wisely, and be prepared - for anything could happen tomorrow. Wouldn't you agree?